Saturday, April 3, 2010

Bully for you!

Bullying is in the news a lot because of the recent suicide of Phoebe Prince. Even the NY Times has advice.

The first story, Mark at www.storiesfromschool.org, has a comment about teenagers having two tools that they use when bullying that make it hard to police: superhuman situational awareness and social intimidation.

What do you do when it is the adults who are subject to the bullying?

I am watching two situations unfold among my students where the teens are targeting two separate school employees with false claims in an effort to punish them for perceived failing on the part of the adult.

One has claimed that the adult was arrested and charged with a felony. Luckily this is a provable lie. But it is still complicating things.

The other is being more subtle and complaining to the principal about things that have led to the teacher being told he/she will not be returning.

I am not afraid, but I am being careful as I teach both teens. And I recognize bullying behavior in both.

I can report what I hear to thepowersthatbe, but there is no way to stop this insidious behavior. What I find amusing (in that sick sense of humor that is me) is that I think the reason for the second one is grades. The student earned a C and thought he/she should have had an A. That student has an A for me (because I have so simplified my classes and procedures, not because he/she is a math whiz) but the only other As he/she has earned have been in PE. Since I teach Juniors and Seniors, if this has been your history in this school, why would you expect more? He/she is not what I consider an A student - a scholar. I have some.

The other? It comes down to jealousy.

Maybe it does in both cases.

I cannot get my students to stop saying the "N" word, to stop using Jesus Christ and God as punctuation, to drop the low-level cuss words (shit, crap, ass, etc) to say nothing of the bigger ones (like the f bomb) - how am I expected to keep them from slandering adults they are angry with? Or to even see how it is wrong?

These are probably the 2 worst of the dozen students who are making this year less than fun. I know other people have bad classes - I have a few in about 3 classes. (and we all know it only takes one in a class to disrupt it).

I am counting the days til the end of this term. I am looking forward to never thinking of these two again. And several others.

I have also been blessed to have met several wonderful kids who like me, respect me, seek me out, have changed their behavior because of me. (I had the joy of backing down one's bad behavior in front of one of my toads by telling the good kid "Look, we respect each other. I respect you, you respect me, and I want you to stop XXX" and he said "Yes, Ricochet" and did. Toad would have asked for justification on WHY I thought I had the right to ask that.) I've never had kids come to a MATH class to escape another class. But I have had several this year.

I need to turn a telescope on the dirty dozen (you know, make them appear to go far away and vanish in the distance) and turn my magnifying glass on the ones who are making this year a joy.

I need to laugh more.

I need to get through the next 2 months.

1 comment:

Mark said...

That student you mention who is trying to claim a teacher had committed a felony--those kinds of lies can be so devastating.

I remember my first year teacher (I was a young-un, looked fairly young as well) being pulled aside and given a short list of the students to never be alone in a room with. Apparently, the girls on this list had put another young male teacher in a compromising position, made false allegations, and he ultimately left on his own accord out of embarrassment, even though charges proved false. They essentially were blackmailing him for grades--"you give me points for that missing assignment or I'll tell the principal you touched me." Yikes. It certainly doesn't happen as often as kid-to-kid bullying, but it's a surefire way to ruin a career. If the news got ahold of the accusations, it wouldn't matter if the teacher was swiftly proven innocent--the accusation is enough. Scary stuff.