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YOUR COOPERATION IS RESPECTFULLY REQUESTED...
When submitting suggestions kindly be specific!
What kind of kite?
What lake?

THE PRINCIPAL IS ALWAYS RIGHT...
Misinformed perhaps, maybe a little sloppy, sometimes a bit crude, fickle, bullheaded, even stupid, but never wrong!

ROME DID NOT CREATE A GREAT EMPIRE BY HAVING MEETINGS...
They did it by eliminating all those who opposed them!

TELL ME AGAIN HOW LUCKY I AM TO BE A PRINCIPAL...
I keep forgetting!

DON'T BE NERVOUS, OR AFRAID...
Just remember that if you are responsible for any mistakes you will be severely punished!

NEVER PUT OFF TILL TOMORROW...
What you can get someone else to do for you today!

IF YOU CAN REMAIN CALM, WHILE CHAOS IS ALL AROUND...
Then you probably haven't completely understood the situation!

I'D LIKE TO HELP YOU OUT...
Which way did you come in?

WHO'S RESPONSIBLE?
Is often the least important question!

OF COURSE I WANT IT TODAY...
If I wanted it tomorrow, I would give it to you tomorrow!

EVERYONE BRINGS ME HAPPINESS...
Some by arriving. Some by leaving!

AND YOUR CRYBABY, WHINY OPINION WOULD BE?

WHAT PART OF "NO!"...
Don't you understand?

PRINCIPALS GENERALLY HAVE TWO REASONS FOR DOING ANYTHING...
One that sounds good, and a real one!

SORRY, I CAN'T DEAL WITH ANY CRISIS TODAY...
My schedule is already full.

CHAOS, PANIC, & DISORDER...
My work here is almost done!

ATTITUDES ADJUSTED...
While you wait!

CRISIS IN PROGRESS...
Please do not disturb!

EQUAL RIGHTS ARE NOT
SPECIAL RIGHTS!

I KNOW THAT YOU BELIEVE YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU THINK I SAID...
But, I am not sure you realize that what you heard, is not what I meant!

IF THE PRINCIPAL ISN'T HAPPY...
Nobody is going to be happy!

PLEASE DO NOT...
Bother, bewilder, tease, cajole, annoy, enrage, anger, tempt, feed, entice, or bully our teachers. They are only doing their jobs!

THE BIGGEST LEARNING DISABILITY...
Is knowing all the answers!

LEAD, FOLLOW...
Or get out of the way!

FORGET WORLD PEACE...
Try visualizing a calm, peaceful cafeteria!

I AM NOT DISORGANIZED...
I have an anti-systematic methodological disorder!

WEL.COM

YEA, THOUGH I WALK...
Through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil. Because I am the meanest and most ornery of all principals in the valley!

ME PRINCIPAL, YOU NOT...
Please go away!

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE...
The power of stupid people in large groups!

LONESOME? LIKE TO MEET NEW PEOPLE?
Just "screw up" one more time!

TEAMWORK...
Means never having to take all of the blame yourself!

THE PERSON WHO CAN SMILE WHEN THINGS GO WRONG...
Probably has just thought of someone to blame it all on!

WARNING!
Due to a shortage of robots, teachers here are human beings and may react unpredictably if abused!

NEVER TRY TO TEACH A PIG TO SING...
It wastes your time and it annoys the pig!

IF YOU EXPLAIN CLEARLY...
So that nobody can misunderstand, somebody will.

RULE NUMBER 1...
The principal is always right!
Rule Number 2...
If the principal is wrong, see Rule #1

A WISE OLD OWL...
A wise old owl lived in an oak,
The more he saw the less he spoke.
The less he spoke, the more he heard,
Why can't we be like that wise old bird?

NOTICE...
The objective of all school employees should be to thoroughly analyze all situations, anticipate all problems prior to their occurrence, have answers for those problems, and move swiftly to solve those problems when called upon!

We realize, however, that when you are up to your derriere in alligators, it is difficult to remember that your initial objective was to drain the swamp.