There are no words....I read your post and hugged my cat for a long time.
Aw, honey, I'm so, so sorry for your loss.
As I read this, Bean walked by with our (very elderly) Te in her arms. I know exactly how you feel right now, and I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel better. Please accept my love and compassion, and my sincerest wish that it brings you some modicum of comfort.
My heart breaks for you. Losing two children so close together is hard. It happened to us last year and we are still grieving the two precious kitties who were such a big part of our life. It does hurt.
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