Monday, August 2, 2010

All in all it was a crappy day today.

We were told to come in and set up our rooms today - a furlough day. I get there and all of the desks - mine, the kids, the computer, everything - is still out in the hall.

So I get it in my room, put posters up and leave, because I need to get the dog to the vet.

On the way to the vet, the dog started wheezing, like a child with asthma. He died as soon as we got to the vet, of heat stroke.

He was in an air conditioned car. I didn't stop anywhere and leave him in the car. Home to vet. They couldn't save him.

I want to go to bed, pull the covers over my head, and not come back out for anything or anybody.

I know I didn't, but I feel like I killed my dog.

10 comments:

Pissed Off said...

I'm so sorry for you. You didn't kill him. He died. Shit happens. Our sympathies.

Tamara said...

OH, I'm really sorry and sad for your loss. I'm guessing something was wrong which is why you brought him to the vet.

I'm sure your puppy had a good life with you, don't beat yourself up. And, when you're ready, there are so many other pets that need your love.

Ricochet said...

He was going to the vet to get his annual shots.

The vet says his size would have made him predisposed to heart problems (he was a really big dog). And he had heat stroke last year - which could have damaged his lungs. Or he could have had cancer.

He just went so fast.

ChiTown Girl said...

Oh my hell. Today was crappy indeed. I'm so, so sorry for your loss.

Ricochet said...

Thank you all.

Mrs. H said...

Oh my gosh, what a terrible day. I never really understood people who grieved over their pets until I had to put a dog down a couple of years ago. What a horrible experience. The loneliness everytime I came home and he wasn't there to greet me was unbearable. So I know what you are going through right now. Try not to blame yourself too much.

Ms. Cookie said...

Holy Crap! That sounds like it was sad and frightening while it was happening. I lost my dog in 1989, and it still makes me sad to remember that day.

Virtual Hug,

Ms. Cookie

Mrs. Chili said...

Oh, HONEY! I'm so, so sorry!

I know, from lots of personal experience, that there's nothing I can say that's going to make this any better, but I WILL say this; you did not - let me repeat that; you DID NOT - kill your dog. You just happened to be there when he passed. And, not for nothing, but his going fast is much better than having it go on for days (or months. Ask me how I know). I know it's no consolation, but I really and truly know how you feel right now. I'm so sorry.

teachin' said...

I am so, so, so sorry. That is a horrible thing to go through. And while I completely understand why you're blaming yourself....don't. It is NOT your fault. At least you were there with him at the end.

http://dkzody.wordpress.com said...

Oh, I am so sorry. You did not kill your dog. It happens, our pets die. But, I know how you feel. We lost two beloved cats in the past year, and it felt like I had been killed. There is just no other feeling. Please let yourself grieve for that wonderful friend.