Peace

Friday I was angry. Really angry.

Yesterday I was grumpy and annoyed and bitchy.

Today I am at peace. I have a plan and a better understanding.

I am between a rock and a hard place. Two APs, with different agendas, have given me conflicting instructions. Conflicting, because they involve working with someone who refuses to work with me.

This is causing me great anxiety and frustration, neither of which I handle well.

I work well in a team. While I tend to take it over if there is a void, I am willing to let someone else be in charge. I have worked on teams or in groups my entire working life, where I had a role and everyone else did as well. Some members didn't pull their weight, but at least they understood they had a role.

My mother says that in any organization 10% do 80% of the work, 80% do 10% and the remainder do nothing. (Of course she made it up, but I quote it anyway).

I usually do my share and some. While at this school, I have always taught a course that was an orphan (as in only I taught it), but it was a part of a group, we met as a team, we had assignments, we did them. The funsucker has been a part of these groups, comes late, complains, and never contributes except after the fact. I could ignore her because it was 1 hour a week.

This year, my team consists of one teacher I work well with and never meet with except in the hall in passing or between classes, and one who has never (NEVER) been a team player, pulled her weight, shared, etc.

She isn't going to suddenly decide to talk with me. And it is impossible to do the two things I am being tasked with (meet with her and co-teach) by the two APs without her cooperation. I have been told I cannot email her, all communications must be face to face. OK. This because I asked her if she wanted to do something and her perception is I am telling her what to do. ("Would you like" is not an order.)

I am going to ask for a meeting with a third AP, the one who will be evaluating me, and ask him not to solve this (you cannot fix a problem when one person does not see that there is a problem), and not to get between the other two APs, but to understand that if he observes that class I am not following the school dictates for reasons beyond my control. He can observe that class, but at least come observe one of the others to see that there is a difference.

If this doesn't work, I figured out three other career paths I can take, two that involve staying in teaching and one that involves another route.

What is the Serenity prayer?

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

I can only change me and my attitude. And I am smart enough to know I cannot change the funsucker.

I am at peace.

PS POD, you are right. Venting, even it is ugly, helps lead you to viable solutions. You are a great teacher!