Bad words not spoken here.

Maybe this will convince my students that certain language is best left at home.

Yeah. Right.

You need to learn to speak Spanish - not

A lovely little girl told me today that I need to learn to speak Spanish (because she is struggling with English).

I looked at her, smiled and said: "Meine Grossmutti and meine Grossvatti kommt aus Deutschland in auchtzen hundert neun und sechzig. Naturlich, sie sprechen Deutsch. Und ich spreche Deutsch. Aber, gluchlich for Sie, I also speak English." [OK, it's fractured German: my grandmother and grandfather came from Germany in 1869. Naturally, they spoke German. And I speak German. But, luckily for you, ich auch Deutsch gesprechen.]