AP recommendation

One of my darlings will be asking me for a recommendation for AP Calculus in the next week or two. My answer will be no, It should be as follows:

Sally will be an outstanding addition to any advanced placement class. The unicorns she colors every day in class are without a doubt the perfect example of elementary school art. She stays within the lines and provides great color choices. She is highly social and will brighten the corner of any classroom she is in. While she will not add anything to the general class knowledge and will refuse to work a single problem on the board or do any classwork, she will rise to the occasion and earn a high B or low A on every test. Her dedication to academics will show as she insists on being able to raise that grade. She will also demonstrate her dedication to academics by studying for other classes during yours.