Vicious cycle

I have written that I feel isolated - which makes me stand off by myself - which makes me more isolated.

I noticed this week that I am feeling unappreciated - which makes me see slights where they may not have been meant but still sting. You know, being in a professional development and having every other teacher called Mr. This or Mrs. That - and I am called by my first name (and, no, this was not a person I am friends with - someone who has been here before and everyone else has the same relationship with them).

Having a special ed teacher mention he has taught with most of the people in the room - and he named every teacher he taught with except me.

And this is a vicious cycle - I am not looking for slights but yet I am. I withdraw, and no one pursues me, and I withdraw further.

I am feeling worthless - and yet I know my sense of worth comes from inside not outside.