What you'd love to tell parents some days

This is the actual answering machine message for the school: "Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection:
To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1.
To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2.
To complain about what we do - Press 3.
To swear at staff members - Press 4.
To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5.
If you want us to raise your child - Press 6."
If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7.
To request another teacher for the third time this year- Press 8.
To complain about bus transportation - Press 9.
To complain about school lunches - Press 0.

If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!

To hear this in a language other than English, move to a country that speaks it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7C5Rnb7J3sU